That time is really like a threshold...into the world...an open space in front of you and you just have to take one step..you have the world in front of you..everyone "inviting" you...depends on what lures you and you tend or I should say "prompts" to take a step in its direction.
Am talking about the days when you are just about to finish your college and would be left into this "Big Bad World" to take full charge of your life...and you have to broaden your shoulders to take on the future responsibilities...at that time a "moment" questions us as to "Which side would you step in future?" and the answer or the road to that answer is what you have achieved today or working to achieve it still...some find the answer soon and others have a long way to tread..till they get to the destination. Even i faced that "moment" and even i chose something..!!!
Our college was about to finish in a few months and placement sessions had not been very good..and most of us would have to look for jobs ourselves..some "fortunate" ones had their dads business' running and could enjoy the life and still others were busy in trials for love and some others were busy finding a job.I was back home for some days on vacation and had to travel in train to a friends house. It was a hot summer day and i was seated near the window. I was looking outside on the yellow soil land which was all dried up.Wind was blowing faster taking all the yellow soil here and there in circles like a twister.And in some time the soil would settle somewhere when the wind stopped. I was thinking about about how will i look for a job..and I seemed myself to be like the yellow soil moving in the circles with the twister on the dried up ground. At that time i had a small dialogue with that "moment" i met in train which is below.
Title: Awaited
Chalte Chalte ek waqt ka lamha,
maayne zindagi ke samjha gaya.
Bola ,"Chalna hi zindagi hai,
jo ruka woh waqt mein samaa gaya"!!
Main bola, " Chalte bhaagte sung tumhare,
main yahaan tak aaya...
ek pal ruk kar laga sochne
kya khoya kya paya hai!"
Lamha bola, " Khona panaa laga rahega,
yeh zindagi ki reet hai,
Asal kamai hai wahi
tujh sang jo kissi ki preet hai!"
Hans kar phir maine lamhe se kaha,
" yeh vichaar tumhara kaisa hai?
Zindagi ab pehle jaisi nahi,
aaj pyaar ki jagah paisa hai!"
Main aage bola "Yeh daur hai aisa,
jitna kamao utna hi kam hai"
" Lage ho hodh(race) mein", lamha bola
"tum mein us mein kitna dum hai"
Maine samjhaya use,
" Yeh duniya uski, jiski jeet hai"
Woh apni baat pe adigg (unshaken) raha,
"Yeh duniya uski jis mein preet hai"
Keh kar lamha aage badh gaya
main sochta raha, "yaar
Aaj kamaa leta hoon paisa
kal kamaa loonga pyaar"
Date: 4th Nov, 1999, Time:3 p.m.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Monday, January 15, 2007
I think...I too should...
Today morning when i came to the office..i logged in to check my emails..and i saw he was online too..after a formal good morning wish..we were talking about the blogging and i told him that i read his blog and being "inspired" from his..i experimented to make one of my own too and would publish some of my writings (old ones) on it..he being too modest..did not want to accept that he was a source of my inspiration..but yes he truly has inspired me to write..first in my diary and now on the blog...but when i told him about my experiment...he was eager to read..what ever i had scribbled on my very first blog...and yes not to forget..he is the first one to welcome me to the world of blogs too!!!
Yesterday i thought that i would put some of my writings on the blog and so i kept awake till 12 midnight searching for my old diary..in which i used to write...and finally i got it from the bundle of my old collection of letters and cards from time as old as 1991..really its been many years collecting that "precious" junk..called memories!!!Lets see how successful my first attempt to blogging is..as i will put at least one poem on it today itself...!!!
What am going to write below...was my first attempt to write..and believe me...i had never ever composed anything..though i used to write my dairy sometimes...and there follows an "interesting" incident that brought these lines out of me.
It happened that day that i had a argument with a very dear friend of mine and i was really upset about it. I will not write what was the argument all about. In the college i was sitting all alone in the balcony and a classmate of mine came to me as she had something to share with me..she was in love with a guy and he was leaving for abroad asking her not to keep waiting for him..i could imagine what she would have went through..and i felt sad for her...i really could not sleep that night thinking about that girl and it was storming e from inside..the sleep was no where..and time was past midnight..i could not lay on the bed and could feel the storm in my mind and heart...it was all dark in the room and everybody else was fast asleep...i don't know something happened to me and in the dark itself..i opened a page in my notebook kept on the table and started to write something..till it was early morning i was feeling restless still...and finally i ended my scribbling on the paper in the dark and lay on the bed..and don't know when fell asleep..when i woke up in the morning i had a faint thought that i was writing something in my notebook..and when i opened the page..i had scribbled some hap hazard lines in Hindi..i then arranged those lines neatly on another pages and i was really surprised..a poem was born..i was really amazed when i read it fully..i could not believe i could write this..for me that was like a first child and so very dear..and that to with a special reason...it was "heart born"..though the words are not much deep rooted..it simple plain Hindi..please do tell me..if it did struck a chord in your heart..!!!(But as i do not have hindi font..nor do i know typing in hindi..these are written in Hinglish...)and yes one more favour..all my writings are without any title..and i would be glad if you could suggest something for the title.
My tryst with writing begin thus...
Title: Awaited still
Wafa ki galiyon se guzarte guzarte
kya kya na sahaa, kya karen hum bayaan,
Aahat tumhari thi saath hamare,
yahi soch kar kat ta gaya samaa!
Us chorr pahunche to akele the hum
O' humrahi reh gaye tum kahan?
Wapis un galiyon mein dhoonda bahut,
hamare siwa tumhare kadmon ke mile na nishaa!
Batate jo sabko tumhari bewafai
to hum par hi hasta sara jahaan!
Ki "kya soch kar tumne dil ko lagaya",
na dekha ki dil hai ya pathar wahan!!
Par dil 'gar samajhta itni si baat
to milta na humko aisa mukaam
Milta jo humko pyaar tumhara,
to jeet lete hum bhi saraa jahaan.
Magar kya karen ab akele hain hum
ab jayen bhi to jayen kahan?
Na tum na hum bhi yeh janen
taqdeer se mile to milenge kahan!
(written on May 26, 1999 time : past midnight)
Yesterday i thought that i would put some of my writings on the blog and so i kept awake till 12 midnight searching for my old diary..in which i used to write...and finally i got it from the bundle of my old collection of letters and cards from time as old as 1991..really its been many years collecting that "precious" junk..called memories!!!Lets see how successful my first attempt to blogging is..as i will put at least one poem on it today itself...!!!
What am going to write below...was my first attempt to write..and believe me...i had never ever composed anything..though i used to write my dairy sometimes...and there follows an "interesting" incident that brought these lines out of me.
It happened that day that i had a argument with a very dear friend of mine and i was really upset about it. I will not write what was the argument all about. In the college i was sitting all alone in the balcony and a classmate of mine came to me as she had something to share with me..she was in love with a guy and he was leaving for abroad asking her not to keep waiting for him..i could imagine what she would have went through..and i felt sad for her...i really could not sleep that night thinking about that girl and it was storming e from inside..the sleep was no where..and time was past midnight..i could not lay on the bed and could feel the storm in my mind and heart...it was all dark in the room and everybody else was fast asleep...i don't know something happened to me and in the dark itself..i opened a page in my notebook kept on the table and started to write something..till it was early morning i was feeling restless still...and finally i ended my scribbling on the paper in the dark and lay on the bed..and don't know when fell asleep..when i woke up in the morning i had a faint thought that i was writing something in my notebook..and when i opened the page..i had scribbled some hap hazard lines in Hindi..i then arranged those lines neatly on another pages and i was really surprised..a poem was born..i was really amazed when i read it fully..i could not believe i could write this..for me that was like a first child and so very dear..and that to with a special reason...it was "heart born"..though the words are not much deep rooted..it simple plain Hindi..please do tell me..if it did struck a chord in your heart..!!!(But as i do not have hindi font..nor do i know typing in hindi..these are written in Hinglish...)and yes one more favour..all my writings are without any title..and i would be glad if you could suggest something for the title.
My tryst with writing begin thus...
Title: Awaited still
Wafa ki galiyon se guzarte guzarte
kya kya na sahaa, kya karen hum bayaan,
Aahat tumhari thi saath hamare,
yahi soch kar kat ta gaya samaa!
Us chorr pahunche to akele the hum
O' humrahi reh gaye tum kahan?
Wapis un galiyon mein dhoonda bahut,
hamare siwa tumhare kadmon ke mile na nishaa!
Batate jo sabko tumhari bewafai
to hum par hi hasta sara jahaan!
Ki "kya soch kar tumne dil ko lagaya",
na dekha ki dil hai ya pathar wahan!!
Par dil 'gar samajhta itni si baat
to milta na humko aisa mukaam
Milta jo humko pyaar tumhara,
to jeet lete hum bhi saraa jahaan.
Magar kya karen ab akele hain hum
ab jayen bhi to jayen kahan?
Na tum na hum bhi yeh janen
taqdeer se mile to milenge kahan!
(written on May 26, 1999 time : past midnight)
Myself and the world around
Sometimes i really wonder about the world around me...my life has taken me to many places..met many people..or i should say "seen" many people..some of them touched my life in various ways..some went untouched...even now wen i sit back and think..the memories of these people clearly roll in front of me like a film real..and i like a viewer sitting in front of a screen looking at it again as it had happned !!..yes to say the memories are still fresh..be it from my childhood..or my school or my college or my jobs(work place)..well..life really teaches you many things especially when u "see" so many people...but i really cant say that i have learnt much..still "illiterate" in my terms...one things that i could never learn is diplomacy...its more realted to the work place than anything...i have seen people pulling legs just for nothing..just to gain publicity" number banate hain"..and when i used to see this happen in front of me and me not being able to do anything about it..i seemed to me like am a child and seeing a drama on a stage in front of me!!!..sometimes i regret that i cant be a diplomat..(to be continued)
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